<< Mar. 02, 2003 >>

so last night was not filled with pleasant dreaming. i had 2 nightmares. one REAL nightmare about a ghost being in my house while i was home alone in the dark, and my second nightmare was about the all too young bisexual devonsucksass.

the REAL nightmare was pretty much this. i was sleeping in the dark and i heard my stereo speakers making static so it woke me up and i looked at them but my stereo wasn't on. i just had this weird feeling that someone was in my house. so i sat in bed too scared to move when i saw a darker shadow walk through my door. i got totally freaked and plunged at it trying to take it down so hopefully i could stab it with the knife i sleep with. but i fell right through it. it was A GHOST! so i was screaming and crying because i was just so dang scared and i was by myself. i hate that scared helpless feeling in dreams. i also hate when you want to run but you can't run fast enough. for example, i also dreamt last night that i was pissed at trishelle from real world and she was sitting beside me in a car and i wanted to thrust my hand at her hair and pull it so i could punch her with my other hand but my hand wouldn't whip back fast enough for me to grab her hair and i was getting even more pissed off. stupid stuff like that is frustrating!

so now the other nightmare. whats her nuts was at a show where clint, brandon and i were. all the sudden it was a bedroom with the four of us in it. i was really uncomfortable because as usual, clint was ignoring me and flirting with her. next thing i know mrs. ed was kissing clint and he was totally mugging down with her in return. so i just watched and i was angry, sad, and every emotion in between. mostly pissed. i was equally pissed at both of them. so anyway, they do their thing and then she starts kissing on brandon but brandon being the GOOD GUY pushes her off and says that she is too young and he likes someone else anyway. i don't know who he liked but that's beside the point. so she got all defensive and started pouting so i was like "haha, ho. that's what you get." she proceeded to sit there and i don't really remember what was going on but clint and brandon started fighting. clint was mad that brandon didn't makeout with her. why? i could not tell you. so next thing i know i am in clints face telling him how disrespectful that was to kiss her in front of me like that and how he is a bastard. he gave me an empty apology and i just said whatever and sat by brandon. oooooh, i stuck it to him. it was a jacked up dream and i hate dreams with all his ho's in them because they get my emotions high and i hate it. i hate thinking about it but dreams seem to reoccur with me. it's always him kissing girls. always always. never fails. he kisses girls in my dreams. i honest to god can't remember having a dream that he was in where he liked ME. they have all been bad. even that dream where we got married. THAT was awesome until we were at the bar-b-que and he had taken his ring off and was flirting with a group of girls. now that was traumatizing. my dreams of him have become psychologically damaging!

anywho, on a lighter note. my sister bought "the best of cops: uncensored" at blockbuster for $2.99. it said that it was stuff they couldn't show on television so we were thinking this was going to be some action packed drama. all the clips were from like...89-93. mulletards as cops and there were about 5 or 6 curse words, 2 pairs of boobs, and that was it. it was the most boring hour of my life. that whole thing could have been shown on television. now there's a video that has scarred me for life. it is "banned from television". i would not suggest watching that unless you are a freak and enjoy bloody, gory footage of people being murdered and a woman being torn to shreds by a train. i thought i was gonna go to hell after watching that. it felt sinful through the whole thing. there was a man who was shot in the chest at point blank range with a double barrel shotgun. it was the worst thing ever. there was the occasional out of control sex moments but those actually weren't as bas as the other stuff. it was just some concert that was going on and all the sudden everyone was rushing on the stage having sex with everyone. lol, it was weeeeeird. i was 16 or so when i watched it.

and dillon called me last night and his dad actually has speaking lines with benecio del torro. how cool is that?? a movie films in your town and all the sudden you are right beside a movie star having a conversation IN the movie. all during an action scene, i am looking forward to this.

i'm stuck with all the cleaning tonight since my sis works and my mom comes tuesday. she left a mess for me too. i cleaned last night and she messed it up when she got home this morning. oh well.

<< Mar. 02, 2003 >>