<< Mar. 30, 2003 >>

after a night of thinking i was actually helping somebody in need, i am just glad to be alive. about 2 in the morning (30 minutes ago) the doorbell rang. who comes by someones house at 2 a.m.? i looked out the peephole and it was some mexican guy in his 40's in a big poofy blue jacket and me kind of confused, did the stupid thing and opened the door. this guy started talking hysterically about how he lived on the street behind me and his mother and his 2 year old son had just gotten hit by a drunk driver and he needed money. i can't remember what he said he needed the $27 for because he was talking so fast and crying but he said that officer brown had given him 20 minutes to find the money. i was so scared/worried that it didn't even register that the story was wierd. i believed what he was saying because he was so hysterical. he kept saying "god, please help me, none of the other neighbors answered, you are my only hope, please help me, i need to see my son. god. please." i told him i didn't have any cash, because i really didn't. i felt horrible. he seemed so desperate. i didn't want to invite him in because i was honestly scared shitless. the dog was barking so loud i slightly shut the door to listen to the rest but lexi jumped on it and shut it, therefore locking me out of my house with this crazy, hysterical mexican on my front porch. so i started freaking out and so did he. he was saying "oh god no, please no. i need your help, god, oh no." so i did what i needed to do out of desperation and busted my door in. i ripped off the molding on the left side but that can be fixed. the door still locks. he asked if he could follow me to the atm so that made me think he was sincere in what he was saying because he didn't offer to get into my car with me. i would have had to refuse that one for fear of him shooting me or something. i don't know, my heart just went out to him. so he offered to follow me to the atm. god he seemed so much in need. i got my keys, didn't even put shoes on, didn't even shut my door and went straight to the atm. on the way there is when doubt kind of set in. i remembered the story of a guy who was put in the same position as me and when he got to the atm, the two mexicans that followed him there shot him to death. this wasn't too long ago either. he was a vulnerable college student like myself. so i really started to get scared and i prayed that God either protect me, or help this guy. whoever needed the prayer. obviously, God was watching out for me. i looked back expecting to see his truck right behind me as if he were going to get out to get my atm card and kill me. but he was patiently waiting for me on the side. i pulled beside him with the $40 i had taken out. he was still crying so my heart started to tell me that maybe this was real. i didn't look at his license plate because i thought this was all real and i didn't think about it. i got home still kind of in shock. i was shaking and on the verge of tears because what just happened still hadn't quite registered. i called my sister at the hospital and started crying. i told her what happened and asked her to check and see if any hispanic woman and a young child had been hit by a drunk driver. she checked and called me back. there was noone. i couldn't believe it. she told me that she had called matt to come over. while i was waiting i decided to call the police. i told them what happened and when i told them he followed me to the atm, the cop said "WHAT?!??! HE FOLLOWED YOU TO THE ATM????" so that right there told me i had been fooled. he also told me that if a person is in need, an officer doesn't give them 20 minutes to find money. they either escort them to the hospital or escort them back to their residence. i thought i was helping a person in need but instead i was risking my life for a dishonest thief. the police officer said they would patrol my area and search for the truck and stop by to ask me more questions. i don't think i've ever been more honest when i say i have never been so scared in my life. i felt my fear was for a good cause but obviously not. God protected me. he could have been a killer. the thought of it is making me cry right now because i have been brought to the realization that life isn't gauranteed and i could be shot and bleeding to death right now. it makes me want to take back every mean thing i have ever said to someone and make things right with everyone i have ever quarreled with. i feel like i should tell those i love how much i love them. it's the wierdest feeling. to everyone i have offended, i am truly sorry. i'm thankful to still be here.

<< Mar. 30, 2003 >>