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<< 04/01/2003 >>

so clint is always telling me to go to this website called madradhair.com.

so i did and i was just jacking around looking at people and i unfortunately came across a profile i didn't want to see. but it being in front of me, curiousity took over and i clicked on the photos link. it was none other than devonsucksass. i saw one picture i had seen before and two i hadn't seen before. i didn't know she was THAT pretty. it just make me sick to my stomach all over again. it was that feeling of the pain i felt back then. i thought i had dealt with it. but seeing how beautiful she really is was sort of a kick in the face. it didn't make me feel any better, that's for sure. i've tried so hard to put that stuff behind me and i think i've done a pretty good job, but when beauty is involved and apparent, it just isn't so easy to deal with. if she was fat and ugly, i could deal better. i think that's how anybody would be. i wish now i had never gone to that website. it was just a fat reminder of what happened.

even though sara was worse than devon, i can kinda deal better because fun as it sounds, i burned her picture. ah the sweet taste of fire. clint helped me. that was even better. i also got to burn all the ho's numbers that he picked up. seeing devons number burn gave me a wonderful high! i had fun and clint had a good time too. he is still stashing away the matchbook with her number on it. he wouldn't let me have it for SOME REASON WHICH I DON'T KNOW, but i will find it one day and dispense of it properly. i also burned a picture of a certain somebody i had taken a picture with but didn't feel they deserved to be in a frame. clint helped me on THAT one too. i'm no pyro, i just love to see bad memories turn to ashes before my eyes, with the help of the one who created them. it's all gone now. he's got a clean wallet. as far as i know. he unsuccessfully tried to dispose of dawsoncreeks number and address before but i caught him. i finally allowed him to get rid of it by means of the wind outside my car window. so that's that.

<< 04/01/2003 >>