<< 05/06/2003 >>

i hear there is a bug going around so i am assuming that is what caused my vomit sessions. i feel naucious today so i am hoping that i won't be hacking my brains out tonight or any time soon. throwing up is interesting to me. your stomach produces all these juices while causing your tummy to ache a little bit and then all the sudden, all these juices PLUS acids are coming up through a tube in your body and out your mouth. and your nose too. that's never pleasant. and all this causes your throat to burn like crazy because it has been attacked by acid. then you feel GREAT! i don't understand. the part i hate the most about throwing up is the salivating part. it makes me sick to my stomach, as if i wasn't already. and then the whole...trying to take a breath between rounds...thing. that sucks. and i thought my immune system was up to par. obviously not.

i'm home alone again tonight so if i get way way sick, i will have to go through it alone. either that or call 911 to come rescue me. i wanted to call 911 last night because the pain in my stomach was so horrible and i wasn't throwing up so i didn't know what the hell is was. but it hurt sooooo bad. i could barely walk to the bathroom without wanting to fall over. i made about 10 trips to the bathroom before finally throwing up. i felt like i was going to, but never did. so the pain in my stomach lingered. ugh, i would have gladly chosen dying over that. i might have SARS. sweetness.

i wish i could inhale my dark chocolate like i always do but it is hurting my stomach today. i just cooked spaghetti for jessie and matt and as soon as i smelled the spaghetti sauce, i wanted to throw up. it's sad when the smell of my best friend, food, makes me sick. but i ate anyway, and i feel just ok right now but hopefully i will be fine. perhaps if i stay active i can keep my mind off of this crappiness.

i love the people in my art class. about 6 of us are doing group emails to each other and we want to hang out again because we had so much fun at Rosa's. we are all so different but love each other to death. one of the girls, crockett, is doing water aerobics this summer and she said we can go and do it for free so i will probably do that to stay in shape. somewhat. if it even gets you in shape. i've pretty much lost all my muscle and if i don't watch it, i'm going to start getting fat for muscle. i don't want to lose my form. or what's left of it. and i'm sure the chocolate isn't helping.

i miss being all in shape and flexible. i can barely stretch now without pain. when we go play volleyball, it takes forever to stretch because i'm not as flexible. oh the days of volleyball. i sometimes wonder what would have happened with me if i were still playing volleyball. would i be a coach? clint and i probably wouldn't be together *sigh*, would i have a boyfriend? would i live with one of the girls on the team? weird stuff i think about. i'm glad things are the way they are now though. i'm in love and that makes me happy. everything else seems to not be so important. where i live and what car i have aren't as important as being in love. aaaaah, such a good feeling.

<< 05/06/2003 >>